I am curios about the men who have a fantacy of seeing there wife or GF with another man! is it something you really want or is it a door opener to include other women? My husband has talked about this for 2 years and I am struggling with WHY!!! We have been married for 30 years I was 16 he was 18 and we have a great marraige and great sex!! I just need a honest answer from the men!!
A totally individual issue... Don't go there if you have not discussed it and the willingness isn't mutual. How will he react if you go ahead? He should partake, so he can't whip you for doing it... Be true to yourself and your wishes regardless of the pressure he exerts. Just my opinion.
I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was.
The key word here was "fantasy", based on your post, as mentioned above by caughtyoulookin, talk about it...the fact that you seem to be uncomfortable with the idea is enough to send out the warning flags...
Ivy and Rick
"Once you go, you will know"
Ivy and Rick
"AWOL 2016, Let's Get Together"
I for one would not want to just sit there and watch my wife with another man. That's just me.. no offense to anyone who enjoys that. NOW... if their is mutual sharing... wife and hubby and wife and hubby etc, etc and all involved have discussed that and are good with it. Sure. But to just sit and watch. Not my thing.
Have you ever asked him why he wants this? I think you have some great responses above, but two questions remain. Why would he want this and why do you want this (if you do)...
From a guys standpoint, I think some guys, in their minds, see this as a fantasy of watching their wife/GF in a "porno" type situation. There is also a fantasy of watching your partner being pleasured from a different perspective (i.e. he is watching you, not participating). There is also a jealousy problem if either of you is not ready for this type of activity. I had a GF a while back who was with a boyfriend (before I dated her) that liked to watch her have sex with other guys. According to her, it was a HUGE turn-on for him, for her, not-so-much... She liked the guys at first, but she told me she would rather had done more with him. When she was with the last guy, she really got off and this guy then asked afterwards why she did this for him... She should do it because she liked it, not because he wanted it... Her BF was really jealous because he connected with her in a way that the BF could not. I was the last guy and she broke it off with him and started dating me. We lasted about 8 months until she was asking me what she could do for me... I kept telling her to do what makes her happy, and she did not know what made her happy.
Don't do anything that doesn't make you happy or that makes you uncomfortable.
Life is short... work hard, play harder!
I've got to weigh in on this because it sounds like your husband and I share the same fantasy. It sounds like we have a lot of things in common. We got married young, and have been happily married for years. I've asked myself why I want this many times and I know it is not to get to other women. I don't know the answer, don't know if I ever will, but I always wanted to talk to another man who wants the same thing. I think it would be interesting to get his perspective.
Send me a private message with your email or I will send you mine if you want to delve into this. I can give you u a couple experiences we've had.
Thanks, N
my wife has an incredible sex drive and we look at another man in the equation as a tool i love to see her turned on and she gets all she desires we both are satisfied we have not had the opportunity to have a fmf only mfm but are interested if the situation arises but we feel it is all about the two of us not the three of us it may not sound very nice but its the way we look at it as long as we are both getting what we want its ok communication communication
I agree. I get the group thing and 3somes with either combination but don't get watching my wife with another man. I would enjoy watching her with another woman but would have a hard time (no pun intended) just watching.Originally Posted by dylanjam
Thank you all for your advice! Let me explain a little clearer He doesn't want to just watch He wants it to be a threesome!! I guess my insecurities have me wondering Why? And I have asked him and he says He wants to see me be pleasured in every way!!
Hi,
My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 years (hoping to have a successful 30 year marriage in the future like you guys :-) ) and we talk about all kinds of stuff. Most men are very jealous so the fact that u have a husband that wants to see u pleasured in every way even if it is with someone else is very rear... As a man i feel the same way i love my girlfriend so much that i want her to be satisfied in every way; so i do understand where he is coming from but if it is something your uncomfortable with dont push it, it has to be something that both of u want in order to not have problems down the road from my experience...
hope this helped.
our next trip to hedo 2 is on new years, we cant wait
The question is.... does the thought of two men actually intrigue you? This sounds a lot like it is something he wants, but you are unsure of -- that sends up warning flags for me.
In my case, my wife is insatiable and is the driving force behind MMF plans. She wants "a **ck at each end", and is fascinated and mightily turned on by the thought, so I indulge her.
If this truly isn't something you want for *you*, then you should probably back off. The only way adding more sex organs into the mix can work is if both partners are comfortable, have talked openly about it, and both *truly* want the experience.
When one partner does it because the other is pressuring (even mildly), rather than because both are really into it, it is a recipe for disaster.
Jester
We've been married for almost 40 years and have no such fantasy. We find total fulfillment in each other.
Fantasies and fetishes don't always have a reason, somethings just make your juices flow while others don't. We have partaken on many fantasies some were better than others, some lead to others. Just go with the flow.......... You only live once.
I can't offer an explanation why some men/husbands feel this way, but i know quite a few people like this.
It is a huge turn on for me to think of my wife with someone else (whether i am watching or participating too). We are just at the beginning of our journey of exploration, and have only had a few experiences.
We have made quite a few good friends during our visits to H3, and most if not all of them think the same way.
The most important thing to remember, as several have already said, is to have some very open and honest communication, which is important for any relationship, whether you are playing or not.
My wife asked me the same question. At first, she could not understand why i felt that way, but has come to accept it, and is also very turned on by our playful experiences now.
That being said, it is not for everyone, and only with the open and honest communication can you two determine for yourselves whether it is something that should remain a fantasy (which can still be very rewarding to talk about it, and even role play without ever adding additional people to the mix) or something you can act upon.
The final bit of advice i have is that if you decide to journey down this road, agree upon a set of rules that reflect what you are comfortable with doing and in what kind of situations. Never change these rules on the fly. Change them the next day, next week or next year if you must, but never change them in the heat of the moment.
in summary, his desires are not uncommon, and your reaction is also very understandable. Only you two can decide where to go from here.
The more you drink the less you need your pants
NYE 2016/2017 - H2
February 2014 - H2
October 2013 - H2
November 2012 - H2
February 2012 - H2
NYE 2010/2011 - H2
January 2010 - H2
February 2009 - H3
February 2008 - H3
Big C,
I think if you ask twenty guys the same quetion--you will get twenty differeant answers. This has to be decided between you and him. If you can deal with his espone of him wanting to see you pleased in everyway. Then go for it. If you still have questions--put them out on the table and tell him your feelings both pro and con. If you come to a mutual understanding--again, go for it. If not, I am sure there are other ways for both of you to obtain your goals. T&B
Posting Permissions
|
|
Reply With Quote
Next Trip: Hedo II, 7/23 to 7/30, 2016
Bookmarks