We had our second visit to Desire Riviera Maya over February 7th - 15th. As (now) confirmed lifestylers, we were looking for some opportunities to play with other couples on this visit. We were a little surprised at how vanilla the crowd and vibe were on this visit.
Around the pool, and even in the hot tub, we saw lots of suit bottoms on (both men and women), and a significant number of tops on as well. And in the hot tub, I tried using my friend HedoJoe's icebreaker of alcohol-infused whipped cream, offering to give out shots of whipped cream, and got almost no response at all (I did get to give out a few dollops at a late-night hot tub time later in our trip). Also, we heard a lot of people talking in an almost appalled tone of voice about how they were not in the lifestyle- as if the very concept were slightly offensive to them.
The kicker for us was a special event put on by the resort on Valentine's Day- an Eyes Wide Shut event, with audience involvement. This was advertised specifically as a lifestyle event, and it was made clear that attendees could be asked to participate. The event was basically a re-creation of the group-sex scene from the movie Eyes Wide Shut, which sounded great to us! During the re-creation of the scene, the Mrs. and I were both called up on stage, to our delight. But the action on stage was very awkward and reluctant, and couples were leaving the stage (and the audience area as well) in apparent embarrassment. We learned afterwards that there were couples brought up on the stage that were not in the lifestyle, and were not interested in any kind of swapping activity. So the whole idea ended up being something of a bust, due to an apparent mismatch between the basic concept and the preferences of the participants.
Please understand, I am not saying that anybody coming to a resort like DRM should feel compelled to do anything they are not comfortable with. No one should take off any more clothing than they want to, and no one should feel any pressure to play. And we did not apply any such pressure toward anyone during our stay. I'm just saying that we were a little disappointed that the mix of guests at this "lifestyle-friendly" resort included so many non-lifestylers and more conservative people.
Now we did have fun and met some new friends. But after our experiences on this trip, I think we've decided to skip Desire RM from now on, unless we know there is a lifestyle takeover. If we wanted a vacation with less of a sexy vibe and less opportunities for play, we might as well go to Temptations or some other place less expensive than Desire RM. Perhaps we'll do a lifestyle cruise or go to Hedo next time!
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